Strategy Guide: Dating a Gamer Girl

Editor: Christiaan Joubert

That’s right guys. I’m going to help you all find and hang on to the girl of your dreams – ITF STYLE!
I’ll be giving you all 5 special power ups, to help you beat the dating game or at the very least help you capture some (or all) enemy base.


(Think of this as a strategy guide. I can show you where to go, but it’s your job to get there).

Now before I continue, I’m going to mention on a more serious note that the points mentioned here are not exclusive to gamer girls. There are some things that simply don’t change and some of them are here. Just like every guy has an ego they don’t want bruised, these are some of the things that are universal in women. These are just simply some key points that most guys could use a boost in.

First a bit of back-story on me. I’m a 24 year old, 75 KG, white South African badass – But it wasn’t always like this. Back in grade 7 I used to weigh 128KG and I wasn’t lifting weights. Eventually I figured stuff out and now I can mold my body as I please. One thing I learned from this was that in every failure lies the ability to bounce back to greater heights than before. So after my latest heart break I set out to master the art of dating. My mentors included great coaches like Adam Lyon, Stephan Erdman, Kezia Noble, Arash Dibazar, and of course my two favorites, Rob Judge and Bobby Rio! However I was still skeptical so before writing this I contacted some of the gaming ladies on my friends list and asked them some questions about what turned them off and so on. The answers were an overwhelming confirmation of what I already knew! Perhaps the most pleasant form of confirmation came in the form of a meet up with a red headed bombshell! (Scheduled for next weekend).

So if there is that special somebody on your friends list you would like to take out? Sit tight, because what I’m about to tell you may blow your mind!

Cyanide and Happiness


-You can’t level grind your relationship with text messages!

A lot of guys seem to think the more they send a girl those personal messages and the more she replies,  the closer they’re getting. Well I’m here to tell you you’re right, you keep dragging your butt another step deeper into the “nice guy, just friends, friends-zone”. You should see those messages as a means to getting her phone number and getting her out on a date. Not as a replacement for getting to know her or as an alternative to conversation. Ideally you shouldn’t let 3 messages pass between the two of you without suggesting a meet up! (more on this in a future article).


-It’s not like the dating Sims you play online, gifts are a bad idea.

Guys seem to think that if they buy a girl that “perfect gift” it’ll make her eyes magically open up and realize how much she likes him. Wrong! Unless if she’s already your girlfriend or it’s her birthday and you’ve been invited. Then this is just a very bad idea! There are some situations where these could help. But if she calls you a “nice guy” then you don’t have to worry because you’re NOT in that situation!


– It’s a tug of war baby! Push & Pull!

Here is a simple concept to explain to gamers. Stop and consider attraction for moment like a real time strategy game! (Yeah, all your base are belong to us … I get it … really funny guys).

No – for real now!

Each move you make, you either gain territory or lose it. This might seem like an obvious thing to say, but then why do so many guys end up “giving up all their bases” so early on in the game and then act amazed when the girl gets bored and goes to play with somebody who won’t? So many guys feel they need to tell a girl how much they like her and then she’ll do the same or at least start to realize how much she likes them. Wrong again! There is nothing you can say when it comes to expressing your feeling for her that will make her like you. All you’ll do is give up a base and make the game that much harder. You’re just pushing her away. What you need to do is attract women, not chase them! EVER!

Girls (especially gamer girls) love a challenge. If they need to invest in you and work on the relationship and trying to get you, then they will be more likely to fall for you.


-Don’t give her your extra life!

This one is for you. When you are going to play a game, you’ll need all the 1-ups you can get! Or in more modern titles, you need to stay alive as long as possible. So why fall in love so quickly? I hate to point this out to you guys, but the moment you fall for a girl and start to think thoughts like “she’s the one” and so on, then it’s game over! You are no longer in the right mind set and you’ll likely end up blowing your chances. It’s still possible, but it’s the same as trying to beat a game on its hardest setting with only one life. Only difference is in a game of romance, you don’t get to retry. If you lose, the console switches off and self-destructs! Sure you might be able to reassemble it and try again in a couple of years’ time. However, we all know prevention is always better than a cure, so instead try to go out and just have fun and find 7 female friends (or more) who you could call up at any point and have some fun with. This will keep you from getting one track minded or coming across as too clingy. It will also help you realize if you really want that “gamer girl” as much as you think.


-Drop the time bomb on her

Here is perhaps the most powerful power up of them all. It’s one I wish I had sooner and I hope it will mean as much to all of you as it did to me. Do you know when a girl falls in love with you?

It’s when she’s away from you.

You have to give her the gift of missing you! Leave on a high note and just disappear for 3-4 days, act like she’s dead to you & then come back guns blazing. Just as with the “Art of War”, you too will be breaking the enemy’s resistance without fighting.

I know some of these might be hard on you, I know that to me personally these were very hard to apply. All because I loved to text the girl, I loved falling hopelessly in love; but it doesn’t work and if it was going to work it would have worked by now. So change what you are doing and make it happen!

Keyboard love


If you have any questions, please leave them in the comment section below. I will be keeping an eye on this page and will try my best to answer as many of them as possible next weekend!

Stay awesome guys and fight on!

Every now and then someone seems to smuggle their way onto the ITF Gaming ship of life… These stowaways are referred to as “Guest Contributors”. They are awesome minions that write like demons and don’t mind when we poke them with a stick

  • foreveralone

    How does one even find a gamer girl? One that plays the same games you
    do, online or offline. Has the same kind of gaming values as you do? Be
    it good or bad.

    I think it will take way more than her just being a gamer.

    • Christiaan Joubert

      You would be amazed! Gaming girls are actually abundant!
      Let me give you an example here & I’ll elaborate on the next article.
      But a lot of guys think that the place to meet a girl like that would best be in the same environment … and yes.
      They will be most common there or at conventions ( at least the ones most passionate about it ) …
      BUT I was to dare you to try something here this next week. THIS will not only build your confidence and work on some skills, but will also show you just how many girls REALLY game out there.

      Lets say you work in an office … & you like the girl in the office next to yours.
      Make the time to talk to her & then just tell her ” Careful, that the boss doesn’t see you gaming ” … ( this isn’t some magic pickup line, this is just something I thumb sucked for the scenario ) …
      Here is why it works though … Making assumptions opens up for conversation better.
      She might now just play along & this will give you a time to flirt and be sarcastic.
      She might say ” how did you know I game? ” ( and this is what we’re hoping and going for ) …
      You then just tell her she has that look about her or something in those lines.
      Be playful and fun! …
      All and all, this will open up a chance for you to speak to her … and unless if she says ” I don’t game ” or worse … Then you should be able to strike up a conversation, however brief it may be & you will likely find out that gamer girls, are really NOT so uncommon.

      BUT to find that one you feel is you BEST match WILL take time & search.
      This is something common no matter what girl you are looking for, gamer or not! Dating coaches accept that they might have a ration where 99 out of a 100 girls who they would consider a perfect 10 … MIGHT not even say yes to giving them their numbers.

      Its a life style you need to adapt and it takes a TON of practice.
      But when you find that perfect person, you’ll be thankful for all the ones that helped you get there 😉 I kid you not bro!
      But don’t become “racist” learn to “socialize” …
      I started by talking to girls I didn’t even like, but thought would be nice buddies … hell old people, car guards. ANYBODY!

      But I’ll elaborate next time
      For now just focus on talking more … make more assumptions INSTEAD of asking questions & then let me know how it goes :)

      OH “editors note” THIS was uploaded a tad late … That “red headed bombshell” … is NOW my Girlfriend :)

    • GamerPeeps107

      Well there are SURPRISINGLY an equal amount of boy to girl gamers in the gaming world, what the best strategy is to find a local female gamer that you share interest with, other than finding one online, that lives states away.

  • Trebzz

    Push and pull? Lol let me leave my dirty mind to myself 😛 but yeah this whole *I have to find a gamer girl* Is getting rather stupid now. I mean would you throw away all potential partners just to find that perfect girl who says she is a gamer? Great article Chris keep it up man

    • Christiaan Joubert

      LULZ! Yea I knew it! XD
      innuendo seems to follow me around these days :p … I’m just THAT sexy!

      And you got it spot on bro :) … Look my girlfriend is just as much of a hardcore gamer as me & she’s even in a clan. BUT out of all the time we spent together so far, last night was the 1st time we gamed together … and it was only about an hour or 2 anyway 😉
      … but guys would be amazed if they just went out with the goal on having fun, how many girls out there “game” … its become a common form of entertainment.
      U don’t ask a girl ” do you music? ” … its like ” do you breath? ” … well duh!
      … But even still if you set out and start to attract instead of chase, a lot of women out there would gladly game with you & soon reach your level … PURELY because they like U

  • Tracy Benson


  • hellstrike

    It was a nice read. I actually dont happen to disagree with any of these(believe me iys rare). From my personal experience, thats how it goes. But you dont usually learn it the easy way 😉

    • Christiaan Joubert

      Its really awesome for you to be able to know that and recognize it.
      It shows that you’ve really tried & tried to figure it out.
      A lot of men out there show a form of arrogance where what they do simply doesn’t work & they are TOO proud to ask for help OR even change what they are doing.

  • Christiaan Joubert

    Sorry for being late with the next article …
    Its well on its way & I hope you are all looking forward to it

  • GamerPeeps107

    I’m in a situation, where this gamer girl likes me and I like her, and we discussed it over texing. After we met up and she said that she liked me more than her current bf, but she didn’t know i liked her, now she is confused if she should break up or stay and just forget about me, and im confused aswell, anyone, please help